So, the world is freaking out about yet another possibly pandemic threat to the human race. There have been quite a few in recent years.

You all probably remember SARS, Steve probably remembers the bubonic plague if he's as old as I think he is, and then people started screaming "Bird Flew". I never understood why it was such a big deal, birds fly all the time, but I guess someone saw a bird fly for the first time ever and everyone freaked out until even the news was saying "The bird flew!".

Now, however, they're saying "Swine Flew"...do you know what this means? All the situations when I've told someone "Yeah, it'll happen, when pigs fly", all those things are going to come true now.

• John McCain will become president
  
• Liver will taste good.
  
• Emma Watson will have sex with me.
  
• Steve's heart will grow three sizes next Christmas.
  
• Al will stop smoking.
  
• Rob will get a good looking girlfriend.
  

And that is just at the top of the list. Not to mention I know many of you have made such committed statements. We must make a list of all these promises so that we can prepare for how the new world is going to be.

lol...im just waiting fo next years rhino flu scare.......should be a treat

me stopping smokeing is like eric gettting laid